


Missing & Unknown

by etc_crack



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Birthday Party, Bonding, Family Feels, Lance is just missing his family, Lancelot - Freeform, Lotor is with the team Voltron, M/M, Post-Season/Series 04, There are a lot of feelings..., lancelotweek2017, trying to stay alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 20:16:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12778686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etc_crack/pseuds/etc_crack
Summary: Lotor is still new to the alliance and Paladins of Voltron are a touch distrustful.But no worries, Lancey Lance has the perfect solution: a party!





	Missing & Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is written for LancelotWeek2017, Day 2. The prompt is love/hate. (Unbeta'ed)

“Regretfully, I must decline.”

A line appears between Lance’s eyebrows, confusion bleeding into his expression and creasing his otherwise perfect skin.

His immediate response is to ask _why?! Why_ would Lotor decline his proposal?

From every viewpoint, attending a party should make perfect sense. Besides being extremely _fun, (_ because, _please_ Lancey Lance knows how to throw a fabulous party) it creates the perfect opportunity to socialize with allies, solidifying their newly formed alliance and allowing Lotor to gain a little bit of trust.

“Decline?!” he exclaims, voice going high before he could control it. “You realize that half of the alliance distrusts you and the other half hates you, right?”

Lotor doesn’t even blink but still Lance can see how his words hit at the core. The prince must realize his situation as well. With his strategical thinking and innate need to analyze, Lance _knows_ that Lotor perfectly understands the delicate situation that he faces. With barely a month under his belt as the new ally of Voltron (and with the fact that he is Emperor Zarkon’s _freaking_ son) he stands on thin ice.

“I’m aware, Paladin of Voltron.” Lotor replies, voice soft but his chin up, looking almost ~~adorably~~ stubborn.

“No, no,no, no, no stop right there!”

“I apologize-“

“No, it’s fine. Just call me Lance. Not-” Lance grimaces at the formal words. “Paladin of Voltron”

For a second confusion passes through Lotor’s face, elegant brows rising before tension bleeds out his shoulders, slowly transforming into a smile. Albeit not a nice smile, but _still_ a smile.

“ _Lance_ …” he repeats, voice pleased, commanding, testing…

A shiver runs down Lance’s spine before he can understand what is happening. “Uh-“ he stammers, already feeling the color rising to his cheeks. “Yes, so…the party! Uh- I think you should attend, you-”

Lotor leans back on his chair, eyes travelling up and down Lance’s body to finally settle on his face. “I realize this is a personal party, a celebration of a birth date.”

“Yes, a birthday.” He replies, trying and failing to keep the color away from his face. Why does Lotor have to be this pretty and have such a perfect hair?! “But it is hardly an exclusive event. We’ll have ambassadors from the coalition, even a few people from the Blades. And there will be cake and decorations! Oh man, you know Hunk makes a _mean_ chocolate and chocolate chips cake that you can’t even believe your taste buds! And music! Pidge found a way to download songs from her archive so things might get _pretty_ wild, if you catch my drift!”

Lotor makes a contemplative noise at the back of his throat, head leaning against his fist, and a small smile settling across his face as he regards Lance and his nervous rambling. This time the smile looks softer…

“You seem quite excited for this event.”

“Well…yeah.” Lance sobers up and focuses on Lotor. “I want this to work. To achieve peace throughout the universe, we must first get to know each other.”

“Get to know each other?... _Indeed_ …”

“Uh-“ Lance blinks, heart leaping to his throat at Lotor’s suggestive tone. He must be dreaming… “I mean! We must try to understand each other! And, what better way than a party, right?!”

For a second silence hangs between them, time stretching out and filling space. Lance prepares himself for another rejection, the amused smile on prince’s face unhelpful at easing his suspicion. However, when Lotor uncrosses his legs and leans forward into Lance’s space, he is entirely unprepared.

“Such a compelling case,” Lotor murmurs, long hair brushing against Lance’s knees. Then fixing his gaze on the other, he smirks. “Count me in… _Lance_ ”

Heat suddenly burns inside his stomach, sucker punching and rendering him speechless for a few seconds. As Lance takes a sharp breath, eyes fleeting across Lotor’s face, the other leans back with fingers linking and a knowing smirk settling across his lips.

“Uh…good! Sure thing!” He mentally shakes himself, rising to his feet in a smooth motion and turning to leave. “I’ll let you know about the details.”

With an affirmative nod from the prince, Lance turns back and moves out, all the while feeling Lotor’s burning gaze down his back.

_Strange…_

_-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-_

“You did _WHAT_?!”

Lance can see a vine popping across Keith’s temple and _wow_ , does it look malicious, much like Keith’s entire aura right now.

“Hey!” Lance retaliates, indignant and high pitched, because he has pride (and really believes this might help them secure another alliance, but that’s beside the point and it has absolutely nothing to do with how pretty Lotor looked just minutes ago! _No!_ _Nope! NOT_ happening! )

“There is nothing harmful about it, so keep your hackles under control, huh, mullet!”

“We don’t even know his intentions or his agenda!” Keith continues.

“Ahh, yes… I side with Keith on this one, man.  I mean, this is Lotor we are talking about, you know evil crown prince of Galra, massive planner, schemer, because he looks like a schemer… You guys remember how he was always one step ahead of us, right?!”

Lance swallows down his sigh. Of course he knows what Hunk is talking about and he loves his best bud but sometimes the big guy worries too much.

“ _Guys_ , relax!” he gestures with his hands, palms turned towards them. “Everything is gonna be just fine. _C’mon_ , it is just a party!”

Keith still looks like he is ready to give him another piece of his mind but Lance swiftly turns towards the mostly silent occupant in the room. “Besides, Pidge is okay with it, and it is _her_ birthday!”

Promptly every other face turns to the girl, who is typing on the transparent tablet. “It’s fine.” she replies nonchalantly, eyes never leaving the screen. Lance opens his arms towards her and gestures as if he is presenting something. “ _See_!”

Now Keith looks constipated and Hunk looks quite a bit sick but Lance is almost convinced he can turn this around and stop the team from harassing Lotor when a shadow lands on four of them, causing every head to turn towards the source.

Over the seats of the common room Shiro stands, looking down at them and for a second Lance thinks he is going to be reprimanded for taking liberties, only to relax as Shiro shares his opinion. “I think we all should try to see this as an opportunity to get acquainted with Prince Lotor and introduce ourselves as well.”

“I agree” As Allura moves to stand next to Shiro, Lance feels a warm feeling settle across his chest. He can only guess what it means to lose all of your family, all of your people and yet, find the strength to overcome your pain and even accept the race that caused such a tragedy.

She is amazing, Lance thinks. More than amazing…

“This is a chance to gain new allies such as Prince Lotor and strengthen our relationships with our existing ones”

“Also,” Lance intervenes, plopping beside Pidge and pulling her close with an arm around her shoulder “to have fun!” Turning to wink at Allura, he smiles brightly. “It is a birthday after all!”

At the corner of his eye Lance can see Pidge sending him a _look_ but up close he also notices the corner of her lips turning up.

“ _Ah_ -“ Allura says, suddenly embarrassed. “Yes, you are absolutely right, Lance.” Her voice has gone soft. “It is to have fun as well.”

Across the room Keith’s scowl has no rival. Lance suspects, it is because he is allergic to having fun.

But finally, he thinks ignoring all of _that_. Something is going right!

Turning back to Pidge, he grins.

“Just leave it to me!”

_-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-_

The party is… _a disaster_!

Well, probably that is an overstatement but where is the joy if it is _not_ an overstatement!

Still…it is going pretty rocky for Lance.

And, don’t get him wrong, it is not the countless clueless aliens and their preferences towards _juuust_ the _right_ music. It is not the weird, _weird_ gifts gathered around Pidge (seriously who gets a human being a purple acid bomb!).  Strangely… it is not Keith, with his stupid frown and sulking tense expression. It is not even _Lotor_ , who is for the most part calmly nursing his drink beside the bar and basically keeping a low profile.

 _No!_ It is Matt and his stupid sibling love!

Lance grits his teeth as Matt once again hugs Pidge close, wide grins plastered across their faces and it is great to see them as happy as this, because a) cute, b) happiness is a treasure in vast freaking space and c) it means the party is amazing and Lance is proud of himself.

But…

It _hurts_.

Sighing Lance turns his eyes away and quickly excuses himself from the company of a few Balmerans. He seriously needs a drink to take the edge of, fingers clenching into tight fists as he desperately tries to control his feelings.

As he passes through the crowd he can feel longing settling across his chest, a sudden feeling of loss pulling at his heart. For a second his sister flashes in the shadow of Allura, in the way she flicks her hair over her shoulder , the next moment he can see his brother’s smile on Hunk’s face and –

 Lance catches sight of Matt and Pidge -

-that warm feeling that surrounds his heart whenever his little cousin hugs him…

Lance turns his eyes away, heart squeezing painfully.

_I miss-_

No! He can’t deal with this right now. Not in front of all these people, not when it is Pidge’s birthday!

Moving towards the bar, he bypasses the various snacks and immediately reaches for the spiked punch.

Vaguely he is aware of another set of eyes watching him but at this point, he can’t find it in himself to care about anything. Pouring a generous portion, Lance turns towards the exit, the sudden need to be alone almost choking him. He needs space; he needs to be away from happy families, away from reunions, reminders and most certainly birthday parties.

Giving a fake half smile to one of the Olkari representatives, Lance pushes through the crowd, his eyes momentarily catching Lotor’s before turning away.

_-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-_

In the silence of an empty corridor, Lance leans against the wall, knees folded and eyes focused on the flickering lights scattered across the vast space. He wonders if he will ever get the opportunity to see his family again, to feel his mother’s warm arms, to hear his dad’s joyful laugh…

Space is too large, Lance thinks, pushing at now the empty cup. And Earth is so far away.

The sudden forlorn footsteps pull him out of his thoughts, head reluctantly turning towards the intruder. He really doesn’t want to explain himself to the team, their faces too familiar, too close… And he doesn’t have the strength to pretend for a member of the coali-

As Lotor turns the corner, Lance can feel his brows rising in surprise. In the low light of the corridor Lotor looks divine, regal with perfect skin and piercing eyes…. and entirely out of place.

“Uhm-“ Lance stammers intelligently. “What- why- why are you here?”

One of Lotor’s eyebrows rises, an amused sly expression replacing his neutral one. “As one of your guests, can’t I enjoy the various corridors of your castle?”

Lance can’t help his frown. “That doesn’t even make sense. There is nothing interesting here-“

“You seemed upset”

Lance’s voice hitches at his throat, a lump settling right at the center.

“I’m fine,” he tries, avoiding the other’s gaze and turning his head towards the stars. “Just needed some space.”

Lotor stays silent but takes one more step towards Lance. “Would you mind if I stay here for a while?” Before Lance can complain, the other leans against the wall beside him. “It was getting rather… _tense_ surrounded by coalition forces.”

Sneaking a look, Lance pushes down his sigh. “Sure,” he says. “Though I find that hard to believe. And you should be trying to make friends, not hide in a corridor.”

“Ah!” Lotor murmurs, amusement clear in his voice. “Such a sound advice.”

This time Lance turns to glare up at the prince. “Hey!” he complains “I’m fine! This is just tempor-“

“You were excited for this party, were you not?” Lotor diverts, looking away from Lance and focusing on the stars. “ What changed?”

“Uh- nothing!” Lance exclaims, voice suddenly spiking. “Nothing changed… It is just-“

_I miss-_

Swallowing he stops, words choking him and his heart breaking under the weight of space, of distance, of endless war. He doesn’t know if he will _ever_ be back, if he will ever see his cousins, his aunts and uncles, his siblings, _parents_ … _mom_ …

Before he can stop himself words tumble between his lips.

 “My family…” Lance starts, vision blurring “when I was back home…”

He tightly closes his eyes for a few seconds, forcing himself to calm down, to gain control of his voice. When he reopens them, they are shinning with a new force. “We used to have these huge birthday parties.” He pushes on, voice getting stronger with each word, memories providing strength instead of causing pain, as he continues to share.

“And, ah- everyone came in. The house would be full! My cousins, all of them! They are all younger than me and oh, you should have seen it! When it comes to parties the first year is always the best one!”

Vaguely Lance can feel Lotor sliding down the wall to settle beside him.

“I remember Phillipa! She took her first steps on her birthday, that little rascal! She was adorable, trying to stay upright with her chubby hands grabbing onto the sofa-“

Suddenly stopping Lance bites his lip. Why was he even talking about these things?!...

“I guess…” he admits, voice small and low but finally ready.  “I- I miss them. There is only somethings you can share with your family”

Beside him Lotor hums, though Lance isn’t sure if he understands.

Silence stretches between them, filling up the space and almost becoming deafening.

“Where are your Generals?”

At the sudden question, Lotor’s jaw clenches, his fingers growing tense then gradually, deliberately relaxing.

Lance bites his lip. Abort, _abort_!, his brain screams at him. “You,” he starts, nervously cleaning his throat. “You don’t have to tell me. I just thought…it was odd.”

As Lance watches, Lotor looks away, eyes searching the endless space. This time the silence that comes between them is oppressive, restricting, almost making it impossible to breathe.

“It was me,” Lotor says, in the end, successfully throwing Lance into a loop.

“ _You?_ How so?” Leaning forward Lance rests his head on his palm.

For a second Lotor looks like he might give an honest answer, eyes thoughtful and fingers linked, before his face closes off. “Galra do not have the sentiments you have described.”

“Pffft! I don’t know what you are talking about” Lance argues, letting it go and trying to keep things light. “Keith is half Galra and he is such a ball of sunshine when it comes to friendship.”

Lotor looks unconvinced but soon his features relax as he catches up to the joke.

“But,” Lance continues. “ He still cares…”

The other turns towards the window once again. “I understand he is no longer a paladin.”

A sudden anger rises inside Lance, disappointment squeezing around his heart. Vaguely he realizes this might be a ploy by Lotor to gather more information, to identify their weaknesses and divide the team, but sometimes you gotta give in to get something in return. “He wanted to go another way, yes. But that doesn’t mean-“ A sudden lump clogs up his throat. And he knows he had agreed with the others when Keith asked to join the Blades of Marmora, he knows they had this giant group hug, showing their support and acceptance but still…the thought of Keith leaving -  It still hurts…

 “-that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about the team.”

Lotor hums once again, voice soft and contemplative. “Perhaps.” Then turning towards Lance he fixes his gaze on the other. “For Galra, loyalty and sincerity don’t come naturally. We-“  He pauses for a second, expression staying forcefully neutral, before continuing. “Survive… and do anything to ensure our goals, whatever they may be.”

_Oh-_

“It sounds lonely.”

That wasn’t what Lance had meant to say but once he says it, he can see how true it is. Beside him, Lotor looks surprised and even though it only lasts for a few seconds, it is enough.

Lance pulls his knees towards his chest, linking his long arms around his bent legs. “Whether in the shape of kin, relatives or friends, family is important.” He murmurs, looking at the floor. “They love you and stay with you even though you are not at your best. They are there to support you, to keep you in line, to show you what can be better, how _you_ can be better. And-“

He pushes his lips together, fingers biting into his arms.

“- and I’m sorry you didn’t have the chance to find yours yet.”

When he looks up there is confusion on Lotor’s face as if Lance is an alien life form, hatching right before his eyes and once again Lance waits for that look to turn calculative, even turn into something similar to how he had regarded Lance before the party, amused, flirty, manipulative… But it stays the same.

Cleaning his throat Lance then leans back and shoves Lotor’ arm slightly. “Besides,” he points out, trying to lighten the mood. “You can’t really do worse than Zarkon. The guy literally tried to kill you.” Smiling Lance gives the prince a wink. “You can only go up from there.”

Shock is evident on Lotor’s face, brows raised and eyes wide open but before Lance can try something else to pacify the situation, the other speaks.

“You are a peculiar one, aren’t you?”

“What?! _Peculiar? I’m_ peculiar?! I’ll tell you what _Prince_ Lotor-“

Then suddenly there is a laugh, barely and short but it _is_ a laugh, from Lotor nonetheless.

Lance grows silent, his eyes fixed on the other.

“I apologize” Lotor says his voice loaded with amusement, eyes soft. Then…

“Thank you…Lance.”

A new exciting energy passes through Lance, the way his name sounds in Lotor’s voice causing a shiver to run down his back. However, it is different than before. Now it feels warmer… _better_.

Lance cleans his throat, feeling color spreading across his cheeks.

The other gives him a half smile, a second later his face slowly closing off and smile turning into a calculating smirk.

But Lance can tell a first step when he sees one.

And for now, he’ll take what he can.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt 'love/hate' when combined with lancelot, just reminded me of 'family' so that's what I went it for this story. Hope you liked it! ^^


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